My Grandfather, "Gonka"

Remembering Gonka

“The Old Gent”

This writing about our grandfather is by my cousin, Chip Arpin.   Chip and Gonka have the same name: Edmund P. Arpin.  Gonka is the II and Chip is the IV.  Gonka was a WWI veteran and was called "The Old Gent" because he almost always wore a coat (usually red plaid) and tie.  For some reason, he called the red plaid coat his "maternity jacket"!  

Gonka (in the back) with our cousins:
John, Lisa, Chip, and JoAnn Arpin about 1966

Gonka and Chris (me) 1970

My baby, Janet Garland Caponi, in the sink, 
with her grandmother, Helen Till,
and great-grandfather, Gonka, in 1978.
Gonka called washing babies "squaw work".

Vocabulary

Gonka had funny names for everything.  His overnight bag was his "turkey".  His favorite exclamation for soup was "nourishing, very nourishing".  Every time he saw a child swimming it was, "swims just like a little pollywog". When he'd get caught off guard it would be "whoof.... that’s a joke on me"! You had to be sure to get up on time for the latest excursion or you would be sure to be "nothin' but a lazy lunker" or maybe even a "highbinder"! Anything that was well made, usually made in this country, was considered "high grade"... unless it was a firearm... like a German Luger...or a German automobile.  In these rare cases something could even be deemed...."VERY high grade". It was most important to use "high grade" motor oil in a "very high grade" automobile.  But be very careful when fishing, never to use Jap line (very low grade)!

A knife was a "toad-stabber" and a $5 bill was a "toad-skin". Eggs were "hen-fruit", cereal was "brain-food" and if you boiled an egg longer than 2 minutes you "just plain CRUCIFIED it"!! (Not recommended.... especially if you expected HIM to eat it.) 

Just about every time Gonk was involved in one of his famous collisions it was either because some "farmer" didn't know how to drive, or someone else was just plain "out drivin around, lookin for an accident"! If he ever saw someone else getting a traffic ticket, the police officer was "talkin to him like a "Dutch-uncle" (very sternly). We won't talk about our dear departed grandfather's reaction to actually receiving a ticket himself!  More to follow on the subject of motor vehicles.....this will constitute a chapter with considerable "ballast"....Gonk's word for bulk (example: he would add ketchup—he called it “cat soup”— to tomato soup to add ballast.)